Major Minus
by icantdeletethisaccountargh
Summary: The war seeps in through the stones of Hogwarts.
1. Chapter 1

People were dying. Every day. Everywhere. That's what happens during a war. People die.

But not in Hogwarts. Hogwarts had always been a safe haven. Its walls shielded them from the dangers of the world.

What people failed to realize was that just because people weren't dying _inside_ of Hogwarts didn't mean there wasn't a war of its own. Intimidation, taunting, threats, hexes, curses, sneers, bullying, sneaking, lying, plotting, siding. It was just as real inside those stone towers as it was outside.

Irrationally, Lily wasn't afraid of the three people she should fear the most- _his_ friends: Rosier, Avery, and Mulciber. They were the ones so eager to join Voldemort that they took to cursing students. They were the ones that went out of their way to prove themselves with what they found _fun_. Avery had even hexed _her_, Head Girl, in front of other students. They had no respect for her position and feared her even less because they knew they could overpower her with just one piece of dark magic. They taunted her every time they passed. They convinced other Slytherins to undermine her authority. They were the ones everyone was afraid of, and rightfully so.

Not Lily.

That's not to say she _didn't_ harbor any fear towards them, that would be foolishly ignorant. But they didn't scare her the way the boy with the straw colored hair did. He was a year younger in Slytherin with Sirius' brother, Regulus. She sometimes saw the two together, but most of the time he kept to himself. He was the quiet one.

But those eyes… and that smile…

Stumbling back from the Library late one night, eyes on the pile of books she was trying to keep upright, Lily felt a shock as someone bumped roughly into her shoulder. Books went flying and she spun around to dock points from whoever was out past the regular student curfew.

The blonde, freckled boy only glanced over his shoulder as he walked away. As soon as his brown eyes recognized her, they brightened. They turned crazed and evil and almost _giddy_. The wide smile that followed was just as disturbing.

Lily froze, just watching him leave. Something about those eyes frightened her from saying even one word. They made her feel cold all the way into her belly and she was sure her wand would be trembling if she had found the strength to lift it.

* * *

><p>Pages: 1<br>Words: 405  
>Disclaimer: Don't own<br>Notes: Cookies to those who can guess who the boy is. Obvious in my mind, because I think of the book description over the movie character.

I'm going to give my hand at a multi-chapter story that isn't written in one go. The chapters will be short (hopefully not always this short) because I have the attention span of a goldfish, so I do hope you'll bare with me. I get bored easily so hopefully that means you won't find yourself going "GET ON WITH IT ALREADY" because I hate when things drag. Much like this note.

And I already have this mostly planned out. I'll tweak is as I go along. No idea how often I'll update but if you get impatient just yell at me and I'll see what I can do :C  
>Named after Major Minus form the new Coldplay cd because I just... felt it fit and it gives me the feelings of this story.<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

"It's going to be a huge success!"

James smiled proudly as Sirius finished explaining to them their next wave of trouble making. He glanced over at the table where Lily was reading one of the many library books she had returned with, in earshot of their plotting. A tiny dimple disrupted the usual smooth plain of her cheek; she knew what they were up to. A fact that used to put James on edge, this time around it made a different kind of pride well up inside of him. Taking a year to actually _get to know_ the object of his affection had proven to be beneficial in countless ways.

Most notably, detentions were down significantly between all four of them now that he knew what things he could get away with that didn't infuriate the red head into assigning them herself (contrary to what he thought, being Head Boy had nothing to do with it). At the same time, he'd succeeded with worlds of help from Sirius, in unlodging that stick up her arse that McGonagall found so admirable. They balanced each other out, some of his mischief spicing up her life and some of her levelheaded maturity deflating his head (a reasonable amount, mind you, it was hard to ignore when one was so fantastic).

That little dimple was proof enough that the entirety of sixth year had paid off. She was holding back her approving smile, still too proud to admit that he'd gotten under her skin. That tiny depression of skin had him mentally restraining himself from going over to her, enjoying a pleasant evening of teasing banter, and ravishing her in unspeakable ways. Old fashioned as she was, his mother had instilled upon (beat into) the morals of a proper gentleman when it came to premarital… well _anything_, really. But break his heart if Lily had other views.

"_Prongs_," Sirius whined in a drawling voice. James snapped himself back from the enjoyable (explicit) images running through his mind. Sirius gave a heaving sigh as if James' obvious attentions were a great annoyance to him. James knew better. A lopsided grin split his face as his best friend leaned heavily on the back of the couch to look around James.

"Oi! Evans! Will you stop being so bloody attractive?" he called. Lily dropped her textbook back onto the table, forehead falling to her hand with a disbelieving laugh. James _almost_ felt bad for embarrassing her in front of girls that had been starving for Sirius' attention. Almost. It never failed to amuse him when her smiling face lit up like a Christmas tree.

"That's so much more enjoyable now that she doesn't yell at us or storm out of the room," Sirius said, obviously pleased with himself as he unceremoniously flopped back down. "Good job on bagging that one… _oh wait_." He found it worthy of a loud laugh when James punched his arm.

"He might as _well_ be dating her with the amount of time they spend together being sickeningly adorable," Remus commented from his chair next to them.

"So glad you think I'm adorable, Moony," James teased. "But really, that's what I've been thinking. I think it's time again. Operation Convince Lily Evans to Marry me is in effect as of… _now_."

"What ever happened to Operation Convince Lily Evans to Shag You?" Peter quipped.

"Or, more importantly, Operation Convince Lily Evans to _Date_ You," Remus interjected. "James, just because you're eager to marry your Hogwarts sweetheart doesn't mean Lily is ready to marry someone she's never dated."

James waved his hand to dismiss that as trivial information. "It's an Operation of several steps. And you'll be glad to note that this time around I might actually listen to your advice."

Sirius nodded at this. "Lily has always had a soft spot for Moony. Listening would be wise."

"Lily has had a soft spot for most everyone but _you_ two until last year." Remus pointed out.

"Although she's always been rather fond of me. I could lend you some fantastic advice," Sirius offered as if Remus hadn't said anything.

"Of all the people at Hogwarts I'm glad it's the heartthrob to offer his services. It'll be a success before the year is out!"

"Why do I even bother," Remus scoffed, though he knew they were purposely giving him a hard time; that was their second favorite past time net to Lily-teasing.

James tried not to bug her too much that evening, though; the last day of their practice N.E.W.T.s was tomorrow and after that would be a late night at Hogsmeade. He'd been as nice as he could all week to ease the stress in hopes that she would notice. That was part of step one; get her to notice. His evolution from snot-nosed fifth year to suave, debonair sixth year had worked wonders.

Now all he had to do was introduce his burning desire into the delicate balance that was their current relationship: friends. Best friends. Remus had been right when he said that they were basically dating, especially since seventh year had started and they began working together every day. The teasing, the touching, the tolerance. Since September, he never feared her reaction when he wrapped an arm around her shoulders in the hallway. Since November, she had even taken to occasionally reciprocating it with an arm around his back. _Every _class, _every_ meal, free time, evenings, studying, meetings- he had trouble thinking of times when they weren't together. Full moons and times like now, when goofing around with just his best mates was long overdue.

What worried him was her reaction when he asked her to Hogsmeade after class. Past experience hadn't exactly conditioned him to think it'd go very well…

The train of his secret worries was broken when Marlene came stomping into the common room in a fashion very unlike her warm, cheery demeanor. She went right up to Lily, obviously unhappy. James had half a mind to stop her before she ruined his entire plan of keeping Lily stress-free.

"He's out there again," was all Marlene ground out before taking a seat at the table. James stiffened, his mind flashing to the night during O.W.L.s when Lily had returned visibly upset from a confrontation with _him_. And maybe she could sense his unease, because not a second after that memory occurred to him did green eyes flicker over to meet his. He watched her go, noticing the rigidity of her back and stride out of the portrait. If she cried again this time, he would just let that go.

The minutes ticked. Remus tried to suggest that it wasn't as big a deal as he was making it out to be. But it _was_ a big deal. Snape had hurt Lily. _That_ was a big deal.

What seemed like hours had only been thirty minutes. Finally, Lily came back in. He watched every inch of her, looking for any signs of distress. When he reached her face, she was standing behind him, eyes flashing. How long had it been since he he'd last seen that look? Long enough that he almost didn't recognize it as her "I'm going to murder you" look.

"Can we talk, please?"

The 'please' was new to that look. It took the edge off as he stood and followed her back out from the common room. Lily didn't even let him get in a snarky, tension-breaking comment.

"Did you _really_ think I wouldn't find out about you fighting with Mulciber?"

James gave a start. "Shit happens," he mumbled. Great. Lily finding out about his impromptu fight (lacking any fairness) worked against everything he'd been doing that week.

"Why would you even think that was ok? You're Head Boy, for Merlin's sake! And you could have gotten seriously hurt!"

He tried not to smirk, he really did, but the way her worry warmed his heart made that impossible. "I'm fine, Lils, I put Mulciber-"

"In the Hospital Wing, yeah, I know. And with _Muggle violence_. How stupid could you be?" There was an edge in Lily's voice- just the tiniest inflection that James was sure he was lucky to catch, but he didn't quite understand it. "Why can't you ever just let anything go?"

His anger reared. "I'm not going to let it go when someone attacks a third year from behind. All I did was step in. So I put him in the Hospital, the bloody prick deserved it."

"_No_!" Lily shrieked, eyes closed tight and fists squeezing at her side.

"Are you defending him?" he hissed in disbelief, feeling like he'd been punched in the chest. She brought both fists up to her forehead.

"I'm not… You can't… You're _better_ than him."

"And that's why he's in the Hospital!"

"You shouldn't have!" Green eyes finally flashed open and James at once recognized her fear and anxiety. Squashing his anger, he reached up to grab her fists and pull them down to their sides.

"What did he say to you?" He asked very directly, anger redirecting itself to its natural place.

"You shouldn't have," was all she weakly argued. James took her face between his hands now, holding her more tenderly than friends did (it's a good thing he didn't want to be friends).

"_So_ I shouldn't have. But I did. What did Snape say? Threaten me I suppose?"

Lily shook her head but he kept his hands put.

"He told _me_ to watch out." James saw red.

"He threatened you?" He all but shouted, rearing back and making to storm past Lily. What would he have done if she hadn't caught his arm? He knew it was his "fight now ask later" instinct cropping up again but Lily's hand had him thinking; Snape was probably long gone and he didn't have the Map. And, though the loathed the Slytherin, James knew he would never threaten Lily of all people.

"Why the hell would _you_ need to watch out?" he asked lowly, not turning back to face her just yet. "You're an angel."

Lily scoffed and he ignored that she thought otherwise (one day she'd realize it was the truth). Mouth open to reply, James turned on his heel. The words died on his tongue.

It was that look in her eye- that scared, pleading look that nearly broke his heart right then and there. _that_ was why Lily had been threatened. It hurts a hell of a lot more when the person you love gets hurt than spending a few days in the hospital.

Especially when it was _your_ fault.

"Nothing is going to happen to you. I won't let it." He insisted, keeping eye contact and trying to will her to believe him.

She almost looked convinced at his certainty. "Mulciber's parents are Death Eaters, James."

He stared her straight in the eye. "And we're Gryffindors. Hell if we can't handle a couple of empty threats from masked cowards."

"Yeah," she said with a weak smile. James slung his arm around her shoulders in a friendly manner (_always_ friendly).

"Do we have to go back? I think I'm too stressed and worked up to study anymore."

James couldn't help the aggravated sigh that escaped him, recovering quickly when Lily eyed him. "I've been trying to bloody hard not to stress you out this week, too. Butter you up, you know?" H grinned down at her. Ever was her way, Lily avoided the implication of his feelings.

"Fat lot of good _that_ did. How could you think it'd be less stressful when you're not wreaking havoc and breaking the tension?"

His grin turned cheeky. "We'll just have to go down to the kitchens and wreak enough havoc to make up for it.

Lily nodded. "Get Sirius, would you? I'm up for double trouble tonight."

Any other person would have been disappointed when the object of their affection invited the best friend along for what was probably the only time that week they'd be alone. Not James. He was almost overeager to open the portrait with a booming "OI PADFOOT!" Lily getting along with Sirius was like Christmas- almost as fantastic as her being his friend (there was that word again).

* * *

><p>Pages: 5<br>Words: 2,038  
>Disclaimer: Don't own<br>**Notes:** This chapter was longer, but this story, as a whole, will be rather **short**.

And my arthritis is kicking in so I don't think there will be another update tonight :x Definitely tomorrow when I'm procrastinatin.


	3. Chapter 3

Friday was bright and smelled fresh and didn't carry the normal bight that December in Scotland brought. James loosened his tie considerably as they exited that Arithmancy classroom. His veins pulsed with excitement and it was all he could do to not let on how bloody fast his heart was beating. Lily walked a little in front of him and Sirius, arms stretching high over her head as she took a couple of steps on her tiptoes in a tall stretch. James punched his best mate for tilting his head in fascination at the way her shirt rose.

Sirius grinned.

"Hogsmeade tonight!" Mary sang next to Lily, bouncing as she went. "Hogsmeade tonight! Tim's treating me to dinner, Hogsmeade tonight!"

"At least she stopped singing about studying," Dorcus murmured through a yawn, face showing she wasn't as annoyed as she sounded. In fact, the dark haired girl hopped up next to Mary with her own little "Hogsmeade tonight!"

"How's the operation going?" Sirius quipped. He'd already undone his top three buttons and looped his tie up over his head. "The night trip _is_ rather romantic. One good date and you'd get a ring on that finger in no time."

"Process, Padfoot," James reminded, suddenly grumpy. "I'd have to get a date first."

"Oh _yeah_, that's right." Sirius smirked. "Too bad 'bout that one, mate."

James punched his arm for the second time that day. "_Process_!" he insisted loudly as if it defended his stag status (pun intended, of course).

"Process smrochess" Lily interjected, stopping suddenly until the two had stepped up to either side of her. She threw her arms around both their shoulders with poorly hidden difficulty. They continued on, James praying she hadn't overheard anything, Sirius pretending he wasn't enjoying a pretty girl hanging off him, and Lily tiptoeing lightly as if she could walk properly.

"Looking forward to tonight?" she asked with a smile.

"We were just talking about how romantic the evening trip to Hogsmeade is," Sirius supplied.

"Planned a date for the two of you at Puddyfoot's then?"

"Only the best for my precious Jamsie."

While it was very amusing to James, he still had trouble comprehending the concept of "joke" when Lily opened her mouth again.

"I myself have got a hot date planned with Remus."

The beat of silence and dumbfounded look on Jams' face was all that the entire group needed to burst into laughter. Red-faced and loudest of all was Sirius who had pulled away from Lily and stopped to hold his stomach. Almost as frustrating was the way Lily, too, pulled away and used Sirius' back to hold herself up properly.

"I've got _tears_," she managed around the dying giggles. "Not sure I've ever seen such a face on Potter before."

"Be nice," Remus defended, though he too was stifling a smile. "It can't e helped that he's too thick to recognize the obvious attraction between us."

The unusual piece of humor from the most guarded Marauder sent Sirius into even harder fits and James into a sputtering mess.

"Remus you dog!" Lily exclaimed.

"Oi!" Sirius protested, which brought upon more laughs on himself.

"You all think you're so clever," James grumbled, holding his smile back. Lily came back to his side, leaning heavily on his arm.

"Think? Mr. Prongs I _know_ I'm clever."

James' smile broke free. he liked Lily even more now that the Marauder sense of humor had rubbed off on her a little.

Yet something about how she went about that humor, something about the whole situation, made his stomach flip-flop.

She _knew_ he still fancied her.

"I'm sorry," Lily insisted when the lot finally began their trek again. that was a quality all her own; no self-respecting Marauder apologized for a joke.

"Yeah, yeah. Just don't let it happen again. I don't think Sirius' heart can take it."

"Please, he's so lazy, laughing is probably his only form of exercise. I'm good for him."

_You're good for me_.

"Hogsmeade tonight!" Mary and Dorcus shouted as they approached the seventh floor.

"Right, Hogsmeade," James reminded himself out loud. "Hey Lils-"

But she was already rushing away with a small "See you!" over her shoulder.

"Rotten luck mate."

He looked to Sirius who seemed to actually be sincere about it.

"It _will be_ rather romantic," Remus stressed. "And who said you had to ask her out before the trip?"

"What are you getting at, Moony?"

Remus heaved a sigh with a good natured smile. "You've only ever asked her to Hogsmeade. Why not ask her _at_ Hogsmeade."

James pondered it with a small grin.

* * *

><p>The carriages would leave at five o'clock as the sun was setting. All the teachers were for sure down by the entrance by now, checking and double checking names and admonishing younger students for trying to sneak by. Who could blame them? Hogsmeade had just put up its Christmas lights and curfew had been extended an entire hour (provided that everyone behave themselves). It was the night everyone had been talking about for weeks.<p>

Lily raced down the stairs from Gryffindor Tower, trying to twirl her scarf around her neck and put her cloak on without losing her footing. Five o'clock on the _dot._ Oh, why did Mary have to insist on make-up? For that matter, why had Lily listened to her? And now she was _late_ and she was _running_ and her goddamn scarf wasn't cooperating.

And then, the cherry on the cake, just as she was approaching the first floor, the dull roar of the crowd audible just one staircase away, she smashed into something. Some_one_.

"Bullocks, I am so sorry!" She cried out, catching her balance on the banister as the boy she'd knocked into stumbled down the last few steps.

Even from behind, it only took a moment for her to recognize who it was, a chill shaking through her body.

As he turned his head over his shoulder, much like he had the other night, his brown eyes took on that same crazed, excited look that scared her so much. This time, however, he turned and took one step closer. Lily stood straight, the height of the steps giving her a false sense of security. She held on to that, because this was the first time he had ever consciously addressed her.

"He's got such great plans for _you_. How honorable." The words were said in a young boy's voice with a hint of laughter shadowing them and dripping with admiration as he spoke of _him_. The meaning wasn't something that voice should ever utter. They sent a shock through her bones.

Crouch turned and left. Lily waited on her step, gripping the banister until her knuckles were white. It hadn't been just some empty threat from a bully. They were haunting and promising. He had spoken of Dark Lord. The _plans_ of the Dark Lord. _He knew the plans of the Dark Lord_. That little sixteen-year-old boy with the freckles.

But no. That didn't make any sense. Even the seventh years couldn't boast such information. All they did was walk around as if they were Hogwarts' own personal villains. It was stupid to think that a sixth year would know such things. He was a son of a Ministry official, for Merlin's sake.

No, he was just talking big.

Lily shook her head from those ridiculous thoughts and flew down the stairs to meet the others. 

* * *

><p>Pages: 4<br>Words: 1,240  
>Disclaimer: Don't own<br>Notes: Uuuuuhhh hm. I just added in that last part just now as I typed this. It wasn't in the original that I wrote but I didn't want the story to suck completely so I thought it was necessary lol


	4. Chapter 4

It was awful how bloody gorgeous she was. Positively awful. How was he supposed to concentrate on anything when she flipped her hair over like that? And how was he going to keep _others_ from staring more than necessary (or at all).

Exploding Snap in the Three Broomsticks had never been more difficult- but at least Lily was on his team. It was easier when she was next to him, just out of sight but still close. Then, at least, he only ad to worry about the distracting warmth of her body right next to his and the subtle scent of her shampoo- it was better than when she was on an opposing team, leaning over the table and not even realizing what her body was doing to him.

James shifted closer until his face was right over Lily's shoulder to peak at her cards.

"We're screwed, aren't we?" he whispered. She nodded her head once

"Yep."

Not a minute later, the pub was silenced by the resounding _BANG_ of their loss. Laughing, Lily made to step down from her kneeling position on her too-tall barstool.

"Alright, alright, losers buy. Another round of firewhiskey?"

"_No_!" James yelled to Sirius' over-eager "Yes!" He glared at his best mate.

"Lily, the last time you had more than one firewhiskey, you crawled into Remus' lap," Dorcus reminded. Lily looked almost as sheepish as the werewolf did at the memory.

"Butterbeer for Lils and firewhiskey for everyone else," James insisted, dragging Lily to the bar before she could argue.

"At least I'm a cheap date," she teased. James almost tripped. Leave it to Lily to constantly remind him that this was, in fact, not a date.

"You're trouble is what you are," he contradicted, earning himself a playful bump in the side. Lily leaned heavily on the bar to wait for service.

"Wanna get out of here soon? The sun's just set and I want to see the lights."

James looked over his shoulder at their group of friends. Remus' advice rang in his ear; Christmas lights _were_ awfully romantic.

"What's say we skive off buying the drinks and go enjoy them now?" he suggested. Lily grinned- the grin that reflected the unofficial Marauder in her.

"If you can get our cloaks I'm all for it."

For a moment, James considered simply summoning them. But what fun would that be? He pushed off form the bar and strut casually back to their table, wordlessly grabbing his and Lily's cloaks, and weaving back through the crowd. They hurried out into the cold before any complaints could be made. Lily laughed lightly as she bundled herself up against the December wind.

"You've made me terribly dishonest," she scolded with no conviction behind her words.

"I've made you _mischievous_. There's a big difference. We didn't tell them that we _weren't_ going to run off."

"Semantics."

"Are a beautiful thing, love."

They walked in silence after that, traveling further into the village and down several of the side streets. James kept his arm securely around her shoulders, watching her watch the lights.

It was awful how bloody gorgeous she was.

"I've been thinking," he said quietly, feeling like the comfortable silence they'd fallen into was too delicate.

"Shall I get you a helmet?" Lily teased. James grinned bitterly. She noticed and stopped to turn under his arm and stare up at him curiously. "I'm sorry. What have you been thinking?"

James guided them to walk again, too nervous to keep still. It wasn't until they were back on the main street that Lily's quiet call of his name made him realize he'd still been quiet.

"What would you think of dating… _me_, that is."

_Smooth_, he cursed himself. He watched Lily closely, not really paying attention to where they were going or who was around them. She was fiddling with her hands- something she always did when presented with a big decision.

"James I… I don't know. What we have is good, isn't it?"

He tried to keep the heaviness of his heart from echoing in his words. "It's brilliant, Lils. It really is… but we have everything but the title."

"Does it need one?" she asked before he could say anything more. "If it's so brilliant why does it have to change? What difference would a title make? It would just make things… make them…" Her struggle for the right words showed on her face.

"Make them what?" he pressed gently.

"_Awkward_," she blurted out. He could tell that it wasn't the word she wanted to use by the way her hands picked at the ends of her hair. "It would make things different. I like what we have, really, I do-"

"Forget about it," James interrupted, forcing a smile. "Forget I asked. Actually, forget everything! Let's just run away and get married!" He joked to lighten the mood. Lily's laugh made it all the easier. "Let's run away and get married and have lots and lots of- _OW_!"

His hand flew up to the back of his head at the sharp pain that had his eyes screwing shut.

"James?" came Lily's worried voice. He felt her hand reach up to join his in his hair, the other coming to his shoulder. "James, what's wrong? You're worrying me."

"I think it was just a stupid stinging curse," he grunted. "A bloody good one at that."

Finally managing to open his eyes, the first thing he saw was Lily's wide green eyes right in front of his face. The next thing he saw was a black figure a ways down the street and then the pain again this time in his lower back. All he could hear was a distorted cry of his name from Lily. It wasn't a stinging curse. Forcing himself upright, James ripped his wand from inside his cloak and turned on his heel, ready to curse whoever was attacking him. Behind him, Lily pressed her back to his.

"It can't be…" he heard her mumble. "Is that… is that a Death Eater?"

The cloaked figure that James saw coming towards him confirmed that. He sent out stunning spell after stunning spell, trying to prevent the figure from getting any closer to them- to Lily. They were all blocked easily. Other students and people around them were noticing the intruders. Silence fell on the village. Some retreated into the shops, some down the street. And some, like their friends, came out into the golden lights of the Christmas decorations, walking slowly, eyes flickering about to see what was going on. It was quiet.

Sirius came up to James' side, face uncharacteristically blank. Words echoed in his mind.

"_He told _me_ to watch out._"

"What the fuck are Death Eaters doing in Hogsmeade?" Sirius growled as more dark shapes appeared from the shadows. "Don't they have better things to do? Aurors will show up _here_ faster than anywhere."

"It's my fault," James admitted. Lily elbowed his back.

"Don't think so highly of yourself," she chided.

"Lily, you should go. You're in the most trouble here," he warned uselessly- he knew she wouldn't. She was a Gryffindor.

"Mind filling me in on why my parents mates decided to party here?" Sirius said with undisguised agitation. The suspense rose as the figures didn't do anything more than multiply. James leaned into Lily's back, reassuring both her and himself. As every new shadow appeared, his anxiety doubled. He could only imagine how she was feeling. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a handful of the teachers ushering students inside buildings or holding their wands out in preparation to defend and fight.

"Snivellus told Lily she was in trouble because I beat Mulciber into the Hospital."

"That doesn't explain why Death Eaters are here," Lily countered. She was pressing herself closer into James' back as well until her head rested between his shoulder blades. Sirius reached around behind him and wandless hand in his.

"It gives them an excuse to have a little fun; this place is swarming with Muggle-borns and blood traitors. It's practically a playground to those cowards." He spit out the last word. "All the same. Lily- _get out_."

"Don't count on it."

Lily threw the first spell, successfully disarming one of the figures off on the side. James cursed aloud- leave it to the stubborn, red-headed Muggle-born who was in the most danger to initiate the fight. What he didn't know was that all Lily could hear were the words of Crouch echoing over and over in her head. Her spell had been more out of fear than eagerness to fight.

His shield charm was up a second before a jet of orange light came barreling towards them. Only one of the figures seemed focused on him. Around them, screams and spells and curses and fear broke out, breaking the deathly silence that had once blanketed the little village. Net to him, Sirius broke away to stun a Death Eater dueling with (torturing) one of the younger students. James kept himself still, pressing against Lily and trusting her to watch his back as he did hers. He felt her arm flourishing but didn't hear her spells. Drawn between curiosity and worry, James shouted out a furious stunning spell at the figure before him and looked over his shoulder.

Blue shield up but breaking, Lily blocked strike after strike of light. Her face was red and angry and focused on her large opponent.

There was a sound similar to a large tree cracking and falling. To his right, a shop was collapsing in on itself. Lily took off in that direction without a second thought, a wordless spell shooting out and collapsing the one who had been so intent on fighting her. James called her name angrily. She didn't even stop to look at him.

"_Help Sirius_!" was all she yelled as she fought to lift the fallen wood to help anyone inside. James turned back around to Sirius, getting closer and closer to a pair of Death Eaters and barely blocking the curses.

"_Protego horribilis!"_

The shield went up just in the time to stop an attack from behind his friend. Sirius grinned.

"Thanks for that, mate."

So much screaming. That was all James could hear. His heart was surprisingly calm all of the sudden- he lifted his wand and took out all of the Death Eaters in a simple fashion. Then, just as suddenly, he felt as if his heart would break through his ribcage. Lily was next to him again, this time with her back against Sirius.

"I couldn't' save him," she yelled over the noise and voices. Then, she was gone again, running into the battle instead of away. James had half a mind to hate her for it. He turned, going back to back with Sirius to watch out for her.

"Lily, get the fuck out of here!"

Instead, she kicked one of the figures in the stomach, turned on her heel, and sent a flash of white light down the street. For just a moment, an overwhelming silence washed over his ears. The doe followed the flash down. Sirius whistled.

"Bloody Dementors now? She took nearly all of 'em out." Sirius shouted when noise filled his ears again.

"Should I be proud or worried that she had a happy enough thought for that. _Lily_" James broke away from Sirius, veins pumping with anger as she took on another fight.

"I told you to get the fuck out!"

Green eyes flashed to his, wild and angry. She sent another patronus down through the village, shielded them both from a red stream of light, and punched a Death Eater in the face.

"I think I can handle myself, Thanks."

And she smiled at him.

What happened next was either very slow, or James' senses had sped up. Something knocked into the side of his head and fell to the ground. A wand. Several yards away, Lily looked at him, eyes wide and confused. James picked up her wand, every intention of getting it back to her.

Then the Apothecary went up in flames.

There was cheering and a sick, delighted laugh.

Lily made to dodge, to run away, run towards him. She was caught by the laughing figure. James only made it two steps before his wand arm was grabbed by one, his waist by another.

"Lily!" he cried out. She was being dragged, kicking and flailing and screaming, closer to the burning building.

"_Lily_!" His voice cracked, arms fighting and sparks flaring upward from his wand and legs trying to free himself.

"Watch," a low voice whispered in his ear. James yelled and fought harder, calling out to Lily and watching her fear filled eyes as she was grabbed roughly by another cloaked figure and dragged inside.

"Get the fuck off me!" he bellowed, calling and calling Lily's name. He could hear her scream above the commotion-filled battlefield that was Hogsmeade. He was going to go mad. Nothing he did was enough. His voice turned hoarse and cracking as he called out Lily's name again and again, yelling at his captures and pleading with whoever was with her to stop.

The front door to the Apothecary collapsed as the fire roared.

The screaming stopped very suddenly.

The captures let go. As soon as his feet hit the ground, he was running. Running and yelling and brandishing his wand at the building. A body came up next to his, throwing some spell that killed the fire in seconds. James only had a second to recognize him as Alastor Moody before he was running again.

Then he was tackled and squeezed into what felt like a tiny box.

And then it was dark and quiet and the front gates of Hogwarts were before him. James reared to attack the person that brought him back but whoever it was disappeared with a _pop_. Wand out, he turned to apparate back when a pair of tree sized arms grabbed him and started hauling him onto the grounds.

"Let me _go_, Hagrid!" James yelled furiously. "I have to go! I have to get her!"

The half giant held his own, half carrying, half dragging James up the path and ushering a small group of students back up to the school.

"The 'ole Aurors department is 'ere, Po'er. They'll get 'er," he tried to comfort. It didn't work. He was forced back into the school, into the Great Hall where all of the students sat at the tables, chattering and crying and worrying loudly. One Auror that James didn't recognize kept watch of the door, eyeing him dangerously when he tried to get out. Furious, he flew up the isle to the front of the room where Dumbledore was helping McGonagall and Madame Pomfrey with wounded and moaning students laying out on the Head's table. Sirius lay at the very end, eyes clenched tightly and coughing violently as a burly-looking student held his shoulders down so Madame Pomfrey could examine his ribs. Of the handful of people on the table, he seemed to be worst off.

But at least _he_ was being taken care of.

"Professor!" James yelled, not caring if he came across as disrespectful. "Lily is still out there. She's _hurt_." He pleaded. He hoped that the usually understanding old Headmaster would just _let him go_.

Steely blue eyes met his for a quiet moment. "The Aurors are brining everyone back. Hagrid will have her when he returns with the next wave of students."

"_No he won't_!" James shouted, ignoring McGonagall's admonishment. "They dragged her into the burning Apothecary. She was _screaming_. I have to go!"

McGonagall put her hands on James' shoulders to try and gently maneuver him away. He shrugged her off aggressively and stayed put stubbornly staring down Dumbledore. The old man looked older than James had ever seen him, but his determined eyes and silence told him all he needed to know. He didn't want to hear the words.

"This is what the Aurors are trained for, Mr. Potter. While they do their job, I have to ask that you do yours here."

It was the cruelest thing he could have said.

James walked down the aisle next to the Gryffindor table, the voices turning to whispers as he passed.

No one understood. No one understood why there had been an attack, why their friends had gotten hurt, why James was in such a tizzy. They asked each other "Oh, why me? Why him? Why this, that, and the other?"

There was an empty space towards the end of the table closest to the door that he took up. He watched the Auror guarding the door, hands crossed in front of his mouth.

That lasted all of five minutes before he was up and pacing and huffing and grabbing his hair. Everyone was too wrapped up in their own woes to notice their Head Boy going mad, mumbling to himself and glaring at the stone floor. 

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><p>Pages: 7<br>Words: 7,839  
>Disclaimer: Don't own<br>Notes: :c harrumph. I don't know.

I actually wrote this 3 months ago when I was on the plane :x


	5. Chapter 5

A/N:This doesn't get terribly descriptive, but it is quite violent so **please** beware if you don't like those kinds of things. Also- There's a problem with and the whole second half isn't supposed to be in italics, which kinda ruins parts. I hope that doesn't take too much away from the story.

* * *

><p>"<em>Dammit<em>!"

A hush fell over the Great Hall when the Head Boy yelled and slammed his fists onto the table. Peter jumped in his seat, watery eyes still wide with fear of the evening. James didn't even think to apologize for scaring his friend, or for cursing in front of the entire student body. He pushed himself away from where he had been hunched over the Gryffindor table, the Calming Draught wearing off quickly. He took back up the pacing he'd been doing a few hours prior, up towards the Heads table where the professors were tending to wounded students, back down towards the damned Auror that wouldn't let him leave.

He wanted to hex them. All of them. He wanted to scream at them and _make them see_. He had been the one to fail Lily first, not saving her when he could, but they were the ones failing her now. Did the Aurors even know to look for her? Or were they too busy trying to catch as many Death Eaters as possible? Were they more concerned with a quota or someone's life?

If they didn't bring her back, he would ask McGonagall to retract his application from the Academy.

The enormous door of the Great Hall opened once again around midnight for the first time since Peter and Remus had been brought back. Like before, James felt his heart began to beat so fast he thought he might actually pass out. Blood rushed to his face and made his ears ring with anticipation.

Hagrid's great hairy head peaked through the crack, calling for Dumbledore and Pomfrey. Something in his voice… something about his urgency had James reacting before he could even think. He was running again, running down the aisle towards the anxious looking giant, running because he _knew_. He always knew when it came to her.

He crashed into the Auror before he could reach the door. Dumbledore came flying by, blue robes billowing in his hurry. As James fought to get past, he found a tiny pocket of comfort that the Headmaster seemed almost as frenzied as he did. Almost.

"Let me pass," he argued, pushing off the ground with his feet and grabbing at the Aurors sleeve, trying desperately to get through the door. "_Please_, let me pass!" he said louder. Hazel eyes stared into Hagrid's great face, silently pleading for him to look at him. Give him some sign, any indication that _she was ok_. Because she was. She _had_ to be.

"Let me see her!" James finally yelled, so so so tired of everyone holding him back and telling him what to do and keeping him from the only thing that mattered. Finally, Hagrid peaked through the tiny crack still in the door. James could have cried at the red-rimmed black eyes because she was _fine_; there was no reason for Hagrid to look so upset because Lily was back and she was ok and he _just wanted to see her._

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><p>"<em>I <em>suppose_ you can have some fun as well."_

The fire didn't hurt nearly as much as that spell did. She couldn't hear what it was over the sound of her own scream. Even _that_ hurt, but she couldn't stop herself. She couldn't breathe or stop screaming or stop thrashing against the arms that pinned her down to the floor. _Why wouldn't it just stop?_ Why couldn't she just pass out or die or _anything_ just make it stop please please please.

And then there was that pale freckled hand flourishing a wand at her and she was scared and screaming and something was tearing at her robes and at her skin and she just wanted to disappear. _Why wasn't she dead?_ Then she heard _his_ screaming too and he was calling her name and he sounded so hurt that she hoped he wasn't feeling what she was feeling.

All at once, she was squeezed so tightly she thought that she really _was_ going to die and she let out a strangled, crying laugh of relief.

But… death wasn't supposed to feel like this. It was supposed to be a relief and she was supposed to fly away and be _free_, not fighting and thrashing and trying to bite and claw and kick and scream for help and _why wasn't she dead_ and _why wasn't anyone helping her?_

There were voices that she couldn't understand. She knew they were taunting her and smiling at her and _enjoying_ this and no matter how hard she kicked or bit their smiles didn't waiver. Not when she was thrown into a wall once, twice. She stayed standing, leaning heavily on whatever she had hit and trying to pretend that she was better off than she really was but she still felt like she was on fire even though the air was so cold and her stomach felt like it was in pieces and she couldn't see past the tears and her throat hurt so, so badly but she couldn't stop screaming.

Someone grabbed a handful of her hair, pulling her away from her crutch and holding her up on her quivering legs.

And then the smiles stopped, and when she was squeezed so tightly a second time, she was sure she was going to die. Thank heavens.

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><p>It was a funny feeling, waking up in some place familiar that she didn't really know. When she opened her eyes, she was numb and confused and staring at a beaten up living room. Like a dream, she saw herself in the room, on a Hogsmeade weekend several weeks ago. She could see the others there, too; James gesturing to everything like it was a palace, Sirius flopping onto the torn couch, Remus looking out the window, and Peter hanging on to James' words as if he'd never been in the building before. It was a laugh, that day had been.<p>

But the illusion disappeared with the numbness. It was replaced by the aches and pains and burns and the fear of how she could possibly be alive when everything hurt so much.

The fear never went away. Even now that she was safe, she was so so scared that her body was just going to fall apart, that her arm would just stay on the ground if she stood up or that if she didn't hold herself together she would collapse into pieces. _She didn't want to die, she didn't, she didn't, she didn't, she didn't want to die_.

Vaguely, she wondered if she stayed there long enough, if someone would come find her and take her somewhere to be fixed. It was such a lovely thought and she was sorely tempted by it because she was afraid to move and the stillness of just lying there was so welcoming.

But she knew where she was, and she knew the way back, and it was a sad thought, but she doubted anyone would look there for her.

It took nearly an entire hour for Lily to talk herself into getting up. But she did it, because she was Lily; she was a Gryffindor and she was stubborn and she wasn't about to lay around and wait for someone when she could show them that she was more than a broken body on the floor. She got to her knees, then her feet, the one arm that could move hugged closely to her body because she was too afraid to tear away the pieces of her scrap, bloody shirt to make sure that she really wasn't going to fall apart.

She knew about the tunnel, and as much as she hated the dark, she clambered down into it, sliding on her back for the most part, because there was no use trying to do it carefully.

It was longer than she remembered, though. And darker. She missed her wand. Thinking about getting her wand back helped her forward as it did when she thought of her friends and James and pumpkin juice and pudding and the giant Christmas trees in the Great Hall.

She went slowly, leaning against the dirt wall every few paces to catch her breath or to stop her legs from shaking. It was cold. Hot chocolate was added to her list of things to push for because it was warm and sweet and happy and she was going to put peppermint in it and James was going to tease her because _who puts peppermint in their hot chocolate?_ She did, that's who, and it was going to be delicious.

The long walk calmed her mind as much as it drove her absolutely mad. Hogwarts couldn't be _that_ far away could it? She had to be almost there.

She _was_ almost there. The path took its ascent and Lily struggled to pull herself out of the hole. The relief she felt was so immense that her vision blurred with newfound tears and her strength gave way now that she knew she was safe. Her throat constricted and her breaths were tight and labored and she cried and laid down on the half inch of snow.

"H-help," she managed out, breaths becoming frantic and she was desperate because she was _so close_ but she couldn't do it anymore. "_Help!_" she cried out, this time louder, pleading with anyone that was on the grounds, anyone that was in hearing distance, anyone in the entire school, in the entire country. She sobbed out the word again, louder and frenzied and so relieved that she couldn't stop crying.

Not far away, she heard heavy footsteps approaching and cried and heaved until Hagrid was next to her and collapsed into his arms, unconscious.

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><p>Pages: 4<br>Words: 1, 632  
>Disclaimer: Don't own<br>Notes: This came out better than I was hoping for. Please don't mind the grammar of the Lily part of this chapter, it isn't meant to tell a story as much as it's supposed to follow the way she's thinking so there are a lot of 'ands' and run-ons and stream-of-consciences.

Please let me know what you think of it, in all honesty, because it's the first time I've written anything like that!


	6. Chapter 6

The sun was beginning to peak through the windows by the time James stood in the entranceway of the Hospital Wing. He was exhausted, mentally and physically, but he wasn't tired. His head was in the clouds but his eyes were glued to the only bed that had its curtains fully drawn. He was only half aware of Sirius in the bed next to it, propped up onto a stack of pillows and coughing violently into a small towel. Off to the side, Madame Pomfrey was tucking the sheets around a poor first year who was only caught up in the mess of things because of a nasty stomach-flu. James stood there dumbly, his mind wasted on the day's events. Now that everything had come to such an abrupt stop, it felt as if he didn't even know how to think. There was no adrenaline pushing him any longer.

"Mr. Potter?"

He looked at the old Matron who looked as tired as his body felt. Their eyes locked and for the first time in all his years (and many trips to the Hospital) Madame Pomfrey didn't say anything more and retreated into her private quarters.

His feet brought him across the room unconsciously, slowly. Sirius raised his towel in greeting and James saw the red stain on it. He felt guilt wrench his stomach.

"Why do I have a feeling you aren't here to give me get-well-flowers?" The bed-ridden boy joked with a voice that only barely betrayed his physical state. James grabbed the wooden chair from the end of his bed and brought it next to his head.

"Because you're an ugly bastard," he joked back, all the while his eyes kept flicking to the curtain.

"Cheers Prongsie," Sirius returned in a laugh followed quickly by another bout of coughs that James could feel burning his very own diaphragm. He reached out a hand to put on Sirius' shoulder uselessly and waited it out.

"Bloody hell, mate. Are you going to be ok?"

Sirius gave a weak grin. "S'long as I don't move very much and stay warm, apparently. Get to be waited on hand and food here for a while. I'll be up and about in time for Christmas, just you watch."

James hummed gratefully, glad to hear the damage wasn't permanent. Still, though, he couldn't stop staring at the wall of white next to him. Just the thought of what was behind it was enough to almost drive him mad again.

"How is she?" he whispered, barely audible even to his own ears. Even if he hadn't heard, Sirius knew what his best mate was wondering.

"I saw her, you know," he said almost as quietly. James tensed and listened, staring. "It… it wasn't pretty but she'll be ok. She will. Poppy gave her something _strong_. Can't say I'm not jealous of whatever it was- she passed right out-"

"Did she say anything?" A little bit brighter with the news, James interrupted, eyes wide and a ghost of a smile finally tugging at his lips. With a smile of his own, Sirius continued.

"Yeah, she did. Asked about you and for a mug of hot chocolate with peppermint."

"Gross," James chuckled. _She had asked about him_. The stupid girl could have died and she had asked about _him_ and a mug of contaminated hot chocolate.

For the life of him, he couldn't tear his eyes away from the curtain. His hand itched to pull the heavy fabric away and his fingers twitched. But there was something stopping him- a tug in his stomach that felt almost like anxiety. He knew she would be ok, but at that very moment he wasn't sure he could handle seeing her in whatever state she was in. was that selfish of him?

It was a split decision so that he didn't have enough time to hesitate- he threw the curtain aside as if it offended him and looked down at the sleeping Lily.

She was… she looked fine. Perfect. He hadn't prepared himself for that. Not that he wasn't grateful- Merlin was he so thankful that he very nearly wanted to break down as he almost had that whole night.

Red hair haloed her head and curled so slightly around her shoulders and the white sheets and nightgown gave the illusion of color in her cheeks. Her face didn't show any sign of ever having met a Death Eater and her arms were bare and perfect and smooth by her sides. What was more was the gentle rise of her chest as she took a deep, sleepy breath.

"Poppy sure worked her magic, huh?"

James silenced Sirius with an absentminded wave of his hand behind his back. He didn't want to know. He didn't even want to _think_ about how she was. All that mattered was the here and now and the breath in her lungs. He reached a tentative hand out to brush his fingers across her cheek, his thumb catching on her bottom lip and feeling a long hot breath ghost across his skin.

He didn't feel like a mess anymore. He didn't feel lost and desperate and scared because she was _there_ and she was warm and breathing and so so so alive.

He hadn't even realized how dependent he was on her. On her mere _existence._ Just the fact that she was alive filled him with such ease and tranquility. He could almost laugh that the wreck he'd been not more than an hour ago- the irritable boy that yelled at the Headmaster and threatened students and punched stone walls. The person he was now wasn't even a shadow of that.

Did that make him a pathetic, lovesick fool?

Yes, it most certainly did.

And moreover, he was more than ok with it.

"When will she wakeup?" He murmured, eyes watching his own fingers comb through her hair and down her arm where they laced with her own. Sirius was long in answering.

"A few days, maybe."

James hummed to show that he understood. He didn't understand _why_- she was obviously physically ok- but he understood the words and pulled the chair up to her side to make himself comfortable. A few days was nothing compared to the night he'd had. 

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><p>Pages: 2.5<br>Words: 1, 012  
>Disclaimer: Don't own<p>

Notes: I'm sorry this took so long. I've had a really shit week as far as my work-load goes and then I got really sick (sick enough to have to cancel my 6 day vacation to Dublin). I feel like this is really anticlimactic, but it's not going to get any better. It's going to be what it is. I only have one more chapter planned (not yet written) to bring this shindig to a close. Hopefully it won't take me another week to get it up.  
>I also have two one-shots planned. One SiriusLily focused (not as a pairing, as a bit of a comedy) and one Remus focused (a bit more woeful).

Till then, I hope you liked this!


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